Guest Blogger: Author Sam Moffie

Today's post is from guest blogger and author Sam Moffie, whose most recent novel, No Mad, I just reviewed. You can find more info about the author and his work on his web site or by following him on Twitter.
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GOD BLESS YOU MR. VONNEGUT!


When I was a boy, 5000 bottles of Merlot ago, I thought by age 47 it would be a lot easier to break into the limelight. Now I know how Kilgore Trout felt. The man had hundreds of books written, and the only magazines he could find his name in print, were rags that were very poor by pornographic standards. Wait a minute; at least he was getting published regularly.

Based upon my recent experiences in trying to find a reputable agent and/or a publishing house, it appears that American icon Kurt Vonnegut, like his creation Kilgore Trout, would only be published in tasteless porno magazines in today’s totally absurd literary world.

What do I mean?

I have spent the better part of three months sending out 90% intact Vonnegut’s Breakfast of Champions to various agents and publishing places disguised as The Perfect Martini, only to be rejected time in and time out by all BUT ONE agent, who recognized my sample 20 pages as the first 20 pages of Breakfast of Champions.

Think of that dear reader! If Kurt Vonnegut would be, say my age of 47, we wouldn’t know of him and his characters, because the publishing world would have ignored him. Or as two publishing houses said to me in their little ratty form rejection notes in envelopes THAT I PAID the postage for: “Unfortunately, we have to take a pass,” or “We made our selection, and sorry your story didn’t fit our needs.” I wonder how these two press houses being university affiliated will feel when they get the notice from me about whose writing THEY actually did turn down? For you see, Kurt Vonnegut’s books have always done so well with the university crowd.

Not only am I a huge fan of Vonnegut as a reader; his writing has also served as a sort of teacher for me to try my new trade as a writer of fiction. Although, it is very hard for me to picture Kurt Vonnegut receiving rejection after rejection from notable agents and agencies who after turning you down, do not even send you a personal rejection slip, but scribble a few lines on the original query and mail back to me in my pre-paid stamped addressed envelope how “the work doesn’t fit their need.” “Thanks, I’ll take a pass.” My favorite is: “Not taking on new writers.” How does that one strike you? Imagine how these uber-agents will feel when I inform them how they have rejected the work of Kurt Vonnegut?

This leads me to question a few things. One, obviously, did the agents I query even read the submission? Two, if they did, did they ever read Vonnegut? Three, if they didn’t ever read Vonnegut, what are they doing selling themselves to authors as literary agents who know fiction? And most importantly, four; has an agency or publishing house ever bought a stamp?

I think Mr. Vonnegut would appreciate this story. At least he would admire my imagination in attempting to shine a very small light on today’s publishing world. For sure, Kilgore Trout would be pretty happy with my attempt to kick the publishing world right in the tush, and hopefully shake it out of the slumber it is in when it comes to non-linear fiction, unknown authors, non-celebrity books, diet books, fantasy books, how-to-books, legal books, horror books, and did I mention non-linear as well as unknown authors?

I have been warned by many, that my attempt might embarrass a few people. Agents and publishing houses might boycott me. That this ”hoax” of mine will backfire, because Kurt Vonnegut has only been dead for a short time and the book I picked only 34 years old. My response is two-fold. What, they won’t publish me? They are ignoring me already! Furthermore, I turn to Kurt Vonnegut himself for help.

In 1954 he was hired by “Sports Illustrated.” Knowing very little about sports he was given a picture of a horse which was jumping a fence. Vonnegut spent some time pondering what to write as the caption. His one line was: “The horse jumped over the f---ing fence.” He walked out after leaving that masterpiece.

I guess you could say like Vonnegut, I’m taking a chance.

And, so it goes

Book Review: No Mad by Sam Moffie

Sam Moffie's No Mad ($9.99) can be a little difficult to get into, as the writing style resembles stream of consciousness and the mind of the protagonist is one that seems to suffer from ADD/ADHD. One thought leads to another, but eventually the does come back to the story line. It wasn't long, though, before the story itself started pulling me along and the style took a backseat to the plot line.

In No Mad, Aaron Abrams is an author who has just landed his first big book deal. He cuts short his daily errand run and rushes home to celebrate with his wife and after repeated attempts to reach his brother, only to discover the reason that his wife seemed distracted and his brother was unreachable was that they were having sex in the backyard pool (at the bottom of which was his brother's phone). He packs a bag and his dog, then dumps a bucket of ice on the two from the balcony and walks out, beginning a journey that lasts the rest of the book. A journey that covers not only a considerable portion of the United States, but one that ends with Aaron, if not in a state of peace, at least in a position of emotional security (good thing, with his entire family re-united at a wedding, with the kids keeping the warring sides separated).

The humor and style won't be for everyone (a good guide might be your reaction to the movie Superbad). I'd definitely recommend taking advantage of the free sample ability on the Kindle, in fact. There is plenty of adult language and explicit descriptions of adult subjects (some of which I, quite frankly, found a bit disgusting). There is a continuing theme involving the game of Jinx (not just here and there, but with mentions on what seems like nearly every other page). It' s hard to believe that someone who grew up in the 60's had never heard of the game until college, as is claimed for Aaron Abrams, but even harder to believe that he would continue to play the game thru his 40's with anyone other than his own kids and then only until perhaps their teens. But, indeed, the game of Jinx, complete with shoulder punching of friends, family, peers and even aquaintances, is featured with such frequency that I felt it detracted from the story. A more positive theme that recurs throughout the book is how Aaron relates to the world thru the music of his youth. There are frequent references to songs and artists from the 70's and 80's, along with quoted song lyrics that illustrate how Aaron feels at the time.

Overall, the book is quite funny, but there are some elements that detract from it being as good a story as it could be, and I'd give it 3.5 stars out of five. I also think the pricing is a bit steep for the Kindle edition. This is Moffie's third book, but he isn't quite at the bestseller level yet.

Jinx! I knew you thinking that, too!

Sandra Brown - Buy One, Get One Free?

Although this deal has been working for a couple of days, there is no mention of it on the Amazon page, so it may stop at any time. Be sure to check your book list on the Manage My Kindle page after your purchase -- you can always return the purchased book if the deal doesn't work and you didn't really want only the one for $10.

That said, if you buy a copy of Smash Cut ($9.99) by Sandra Brown, you also get a copy of her earlier novel, Hello, Darkness ($6.39), as a free download. If you are a Sandra Brown fan, just consider it a great bonus, essentially dropping the price of each books to $5, each.

Book Description
THE PRINCIPALS
Paul Wheeler. CEO of the Wheeler Enterprises empire. At age fifty-two, he's a pillar of Atlanta society and a brilliant businessman. But Paul is out of the picture even before the opening credits -- shot dead during an armed robbery. Julie Rutledge. A savvy, cultured, and attractive Southern woman, seasoned by a stint of study and romance in Paris. She owns the city's most successful and sophisticated art gallery on Peachtree Street. She was also Paul Wheeler's weekly companion at the hotel where he was murdered and was hand in hand with him at the time of his death. Derek Mitchell. A defense lawyer of renown. Successful, handsome, and despised by the Atlanta PD for his courtroom victories, he goes to the mat to make a case for every client - and headlines for himself. A guilty verdict is not an option. Yet he's not entirely without a conscience, as proven when his life takes a terrible turn toward the cinematic. Creighton Wheeler. The prodigal nephew of Paul. With movie-star looks and guileless blue eyes, the twenty-eight-year-old playboy has a penchant for call girls, fast cars, and designer clothes. But his passion is movies. He studies them, quotes them ... and lives them. Even those closest to Creighton can't be sure when he exits reality and enters the fantasy world of films.

STORYBOARD
The murder of Paul Wheeler has all the elements of a blockbuster: family rivalries, incalculable wealth, and a prominent man dying in the arms of his beautiful mistress. It's a case that could earn Derek Mitchell even greater star power. When the Wheeler family approaches him about defending Creighton for his uncle's murder -- even before he's charged -- he jumps at the chance. But Derek soon discovers that Julie will stop at nothing to secure justice for Paul -- and that includes preventing Derek from defending Creighton. Infuriated, Derek realizes that his hands have been tied in a way that could not only cost him the case, but ruin his entire career. Although Creighton has a rock-solid alibi, Julie is convinced that he is responsible for Paul's murder. But the homicide detectives have another theory. Caught in several lies, and keeping secrets from Derek and the police, Julie is suspected of casting blame on Creighton to cover her own crime. Meanwhile, Derek fears he's once again being duped ... yet he burns with jealousy when he thinks of Julie with her late lover. But the more Derek learns about Creighton and his darker side, the more he doubts the young man's innocence. And hiding in a squalid motel under an assumed name is the one man, a career criminal, a killer, who knows the truth. The clock ticks down toward a shocking ending as Derek and Julie seek to learn whether Creighton's fascination with movie murders is merely a bizarre hobby or depravity. Has he begun reenacting cinema's goriest scenes ... and, if so, who will be his unwitting costars? They won't know until the final SMASH CUT.

Soul Intent by Dennis Batchelder

Soul Intent ($0.99), by Dennis Batchelder, is the sequel to Soul Identity($0.01), a book of which I have three copies (two are ebooks -- it's a long story -- and one of which is a signed trade paperback). This one hit Kindle first, with the paperback to follow next month, so you get to read it before those who don't have Kindle access.

Book Description

A VILLAIN’S REQUEST
In 1946, soon-to-be-executed Nazi General Hermann Goering asks young Soul Identity overseer Archibald Morgan to take his looted gold and deposit it in a soul line collection, there to await his soul’s rebirth.

A GRIM RESISTANCE
Flora, a seventeen-year-old Gypsy girl whose father died in the Dachau concentration camp, is sure that Goering stole the gold. She struggles to persuade Morgan to reject the Nazi’s deposit, but Morgan prevails.

A MYSTERIOUS THEFT
Sixty-four years have passed. A repentant Morgan opens Goering’s collection and discovers the gold is gone. In its place lies a cryptic journal. Morgan asks security expert Scott Waverly to find the thief and recover the gold.

A THRILLING ADVENTURE
Scott must race through Europe to uncover the elusive secrets of what really happened in Nuremberg… secrets that threaten to reopen old wounds, settle old scores, and lead to the gold’s—and his own soul’s—recovery.

Offspring by Steven Harper released on Kindle

Offspring, by Steven Harper, the fourth and final book of his Silent Empire series, is now available on Kindle and is bargain priced at $1.79. The first three books in the series are Dreamer, Nightmare, and Trickster, all of which I've bought (and I've already grabbed this one).

Book Description
The lush and beautiful forest planet of Bellerophon is home to a cacophony of noises, but its resident psychics are known as the Silent. Previously they could travel to the Dream, a telepathic plane of existence where they could twist the laws of reality. But that time is over...

One madman's lust for power tore the Dream asunder. Now only a handful of the Silent can enter it. Kendi Weaver is one of them.

As an election for the governorship of Bellerophon begins, Kendi is caught in the crossfire. Attempts on his life—and a rash of Silent kidnappings—point to a political enemy...or a personal one. Either way, the future of the Dream is at stake. And Kendi fears it may become a nightmare.

Edited to add: The above order is by publishing date. However, if you'd like to read them in chronological sequence, it's Nightmare, Dreamer, Trickster then Offspring although the author says both of the first two can be read in either order and all of them stand alone (the last two are more intertwined, though). I've chosen to read them in this order and it works well.