First up, one for those boycotting Christmas: Festivus: The Holiday for the Rest of Us ($1.99 Kindle, B&N, KoboBook Description
Looking to add a little bitterness to your holiday season? Then FESTIVUS is the book you cannot do without!
Take Frosty out behind the woodshed and hide your menorahs, kinaras, diyas and whatevahs…the time has come for Festivus! The event celebrated by Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller) on Seinfeld, in which a bare aluminum pole replaces all holiday and religious symbols, where participants compete in "feats of strength" and undertake the "airing of grievances," has transcended television to become a worldwide phenomenon. In this side-splitting romp through the Festivus landscape, Allen Salkin meets Miss Festivus, tastes Festivus beer, and ponders the Festivus snail (along with Festy the cat), showing how anyone with a little creativity-and a dash of Costanza-can celebrate a Happy Festivus!
My Man Plautus: Learn how (and dear God, why?) the ancient Romans invented Festivus.
Mom, is that you? Peruse dozens of photos and illustrations of Festivus celebrants in their natural habitat.
Be sure to wash the nails: Learn to cook tasty Festivus recipes like Shrimp impaled on mini Festivus poles and Ham with Junior Mint and Snapple glaze.
There she is, Miss Festivus! Criteria for judging your own Miss Festivus contest (hint: the abilities to bowl a 170 and clean a carburetor count big).
Are those my chestnuts roasting? Lyrics and chords to that surefire smash "O Festivus!"and the chart-topping hit all the kids are singing: "Gather 'Round the Pole."
No fire hazards here: Tips on acquiring a gloriously inflammable aluminum pole.
A foreword by Father Festivus himself, Jerry Stiller! See why Festivus is more fun than being killed by a giant boulder.
One movie we watch ever year during the holidays is A Christmas Story. Now you can get "The Book That Inspired the Hilarious Classic Film" ($3.89 Kindle, KoboBook Description
A beloved, bestselling classic of humorous and nostalgic Americana—the book that inspired the equally classic Yuletide film.
The holiday film A Christmas Story, first released in 1983, has become a bona fide Christmas perennial, gaining in stature and fame with each succeeding year. Its affectionate, wacky, and wryly realistic portrayal of an American family’s typical Christmas joys and travails in small-town Depression-era Indiana has entered our imagination and our hearts with a force equal to It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street.
This edition of A Christmas Story gathers together in one hilarious volume the gems of autobiographical humor that Jean Shepherd drew upon to create this enduring film. Here is young Ralphie Parker’s shocking discovery that his decoder ring is really a device to promote Ovaltine; his mother and father’s pitched battle over the fate of a lascivious leg lamp; the unleashed and unnerving savagery of Ralphie’s duel in the show with the odious bullies Scut Farkas and Grover Dill; and, most crucially, Ralphie’s unstoppable campaign to get Santa—or anyone else—to give him a Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot range model air rifle. Who cares that the whole adult world is telling him, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid”?
The pieces that comprise A Christmas Story, previously published in the larger collections In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash and Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories, coalesce in a magical fashion to become an irresistible piece of Americana, quite the equal of the film in its ability to warm the heart and tickle the funny bone.
The Christmas Bus ($4.69 Kindle, KoboChristmas Dog
Betty Kowalski isn't looking forward to the holidays. She just can't seem to find Christmas in her heart. There's church, of course. But who can she bake for these days? And who would care whether or not she pulled out the Christmas decorations? Her new neighbor just adds to the problem. He's doing home improvements that don't appear to be improving much of anything. These days when Betty looks out the window, she sees a beat-up truck, a pile of junk, lots of blue tarps, and--horror of horrors--an old pink toilet. But when a mangy dog appears at her doorstep, the stage is set for Betty to learn a very important lesson about what Christmas is all about. This contemporary Christmas story is a timely yet gentle reminder that God can work miracles through something as seemingly insignificant as a little brown dog.
Christmas Bus
The people of Christmas Valley always celebrate Christmas to the fullest extent. The mayor plays Santa, every business is holiday themed, and there's a nativity for the kids each Christmas Eve. This town knows Christmas. But this year nothing goes according to plan. Shepherd's Inn is full of strangers, Mad Myrtle is causing problems, and a young couple with a baby due any minute rolls in to the middle of town in their Partridge Family-style bus. It's hardly the holiday Christmas Valley wanted--but it may be just what they need. This charming novella is sure to become a new Christmas tradition for readers who love a great holiday story.
A Highland Christmas ($1.99 Kindle, B&N, KoboBook Description
Christmas is an ancient Roman festival, not to be celebrated by decent folk in the Scottish Highlands. Police Constable Hamish Macbeth has always loved the festivities, but this year his family is vacationing in sunny Florida. He is stuck with the long, lonely Christmas shift in freezing Lochdubh. A cranky old lady kicks off the holidays by reporting her cat missing. Then the Christmas lights and tree in a nearby village disappear soon after the local council voted to allow decorations. As Hamish finds a way to bring Christmas to the Highlands and make a little girl's dreams come true, he finds -- to his delight -- that he has the best Christmas ever.
Holiday Magic ($4.99 Kindle, KoboBook Description
Mistletoe, magic, twinkling lights, and stolen kisses.... Experience all the wonders of the holiday season with these four irresistible stories....
"Holiday Magic" by Fern Michaels
Ski shop manager Stephanie Marshall is counting on a holiday bonus so she can put a down payment on a home for herself and her daughters. But her handsome boss, Eddie O'Brien, has his own Christmas wish--one that could lead to a lifetime of loving....
"A Very Merry Christmas" by Cathy Lamb
Meredith Ghirlandaio's to-do list is already overflowing, between keeping her B&B afloat, directing the town's holiday concert, and trying to avoid rancher Logan Taylor. Doesn't he know Meredith's through with men--even rugged, alpha, drop-dead-gorgeous men? Then again, some vows were meant to be broken....
"A Very Maui Christmas" by Mary Carter
Tara Lane has the perfect plan to avoid another hellish family holiday--fly to Maui. Too bad her family decided to follow suit. But a laid-back handyman is about to prove you don't need snow to have a sparkling, sexy Christmas....
"A Cedar Key Christmas" by Terri DuLong
Single mom Josie Sullivan is proud of her young daughter, Orli, for helping local fisherman Mr. Al restore his crumbling home. And when Mr. Al's nephew, Ben, pays a visit, Josie realizes just how much Christmas magic one good deed can bring....
Kissing Santa Claus ($4.39 Kindle, KoboBook Description
Three hottie humbugs find holiday magic where they least expect it...
Donna Kauffman Lock, Stock and Jingle Bells
Holly hates the yuletide season more than ever since she inherited her mother’s Christmas novelty shop, but her childhood pal Sean’s determined to warm her up—to Christmas and to him. When they uncover a diary concealing secrets involving both their families, this could be the Christmas that changes their lives forever…
Jill Shalvis Bah Handsome!
Behind on her bills, B&B owner Hope receives an unlikely guest—stranded solicitor Danny, who’s been threatening to put her out of business. Hope’s staff sees more fire than fight in the sparks that fly as they try and bring Hope and Danny together, but only a Christmas miracle can help these unlikely lovers see the light…
Helenkay Dimon It’s Hotter at Christmas
Hawaii’s no paradise for Marissa, who, thanks to a series of unfortunate events, can’t seem to get away from the sand to enjoy her Christmas East Coast style—with plenty of snow and slush. But tall, dark, and serious police officer Ted’s about to give this bad Santa in heels a Mele Kalikimaka she’ll never forget…
Kiss Me, Katie! & Hug Me, Holly! ($4.29 Kindle, KoboBook Description
Kiss Me, Katie!
All Katie Wilkins wanted for Christmas was to get Santa Claus under the mistletoe, because beneath that Santa suit was her ideal man--or so she thought. But it wasn't nice, safe Mr. Perfect who kissed her senseless. Horrors! It was Bryan Morgan--wild man, stunt pilot and all-around daredevil. And, heaven help her, she'd really liked that kiss. Which just proved what she'd known all along--she was Christmas cursed!
Hug Me, Holly!
Sheriff Riley McMann couldn't believe his ears when Holly Stone announced that she'd be taking over the only café in Little Paradise. She looked as if she hadn't worked a day in her life, and besides, he had to eat there! But he was soon working up quite an appetite for "Calamity Holly" when he discovered there was more to her than designer clothes and an attitude. Maybe his Christmas wishes were going to come true after all...
An Amish Christmas ($3.99 Kindle, B&N; $3.89 KoboBook Description
When Karen Imhoff finds a beaten man lying unconscious by the road in her Amish community, she doesn't hesitate to help. "John Doe" needs a place to stay while he regains his memory, and she has a room to rent. The handsome Englisher proves invaluable around the family farm, yet his presence wreaks havoc with her emotions. Karen has her younger siblings to care for. She can't fall for an outsider who doesn't know his own identity. But as Christmas draws closer, the simple grace of this life—and this woman—could inspire John to make Karen's dreams come true….
Drowning in Christmas ($1.99 Kindle), by Judith Ivie, was previously published by Mainly Murder Press, a small New England publisher. This is the fourth in her Kate Lawrence Mystery series, all of which is now on Kindle for $1.99 each.Book Description
When a mysterious death occurs at Hartford’s venerable Wadsworth Atheneum, Kate knows the holidays are really going to be murder this year.
Christmas has never been Kate’s favorite time of year, but this holiday season is enough to make her crazy. MACK Realty is on hiatus due to the down economy. Armando might not make it home by December 24th. Kate is mourning the loss of her adored cat Simon. Daughter Emma has persuaded Kate to stage a Norman Rockwell-type Christmas Eve for her loathsome new beau. And to top off the merriment, her ex-husband has coaxed her to host an at-home wedding for their nephew. Ho ho ho.
To get her mind off her troubles, Kate helps out with a charity fundraiser to be held during the Wadsworth Atheneum’s famous Festival of Trees & Traditions. It’s an evening that’s full of surprises, none of them good.
Kate’s positively drowning in Christmas. Can pals Margo and Strutter come to her rescue before she goes down for the third time?
A Merry Little Murder ($2.99 Kindle; $5.60 B&N), by Mary Welk, is the first in her A Rhodes to Murder Mystery seriesBook Description
It was nobody's fault, unless you counted the mice, and even they didn't mean to start trouble. A forgotten candy cane lured them to the Christmas tree stored in the basement of St. Anne's Hospital. The nibbling and gnawing just went on from there. Now there are holes in the trunk where none should be and not a single branch will stay in place. Despite this disaster, the nurses of Psychiatric Ward One are determined to deck the blues by decking the halls. When an anonymous donor sends them an artificial balsam, they happily press their patients into decorating it. But lighting the new tree ends with a bang!
Who planted the bomb that wrecks havoc in the little town of Rhineburg? A frustrated employee fired by St. Anne's despised administrator? A student terrorist from Bruck University? Or Caroline Rhodes, a nurse with a suspicious past who survived the explosion but refuses to discuss it?
Tagged as a suspect by the FBI, Caroline must prove her innocence by unraveling a devilish plot devised to eliminate one man's nemesis. Aided by history professor Carl Atwater, Caroline cuts through a maze of conflicting stories, red herrings, and downright lies to bring a killer to justice.
A Christmas Wedding ($2.99 Kindle, B&N, KoboBook Description
"Happy families are all alike," said Tolstoy, and the O'Malley's are one of the happiest, if slightly crazy, families in current fiction. A Christmas Wedding continues the saga of Chucky, the youngest son who wants to live the quiet life of an accountant and raise a nice Catholic family. Fate, of course, has other plans for Chucky, in the person of the beautiful Rosemarie, his off-again on-again nemesis from the time he saved her life when he was a young man.
Thrown out of Notre Dame on trumped up charges, Chucky ends up going to the University of Chicago. The only problem: his lifelong enemy Rosemarie is a fellow student. They decide to be "just friends," and while they battle with each other, "just friends" turns into something neither of them expected.
Christmas Miracles ($2.99 Kindle, B&N, KoboBook Description
Celebrate the season of hope and miracles with these inspiring true stories that will warm the heart and touch the soul…
A man lies gravely ill in the hospital on Christmas when he hears angels singing and immediately makes a full recovery. A little boy with dyslexia sits down to read a Christmas book and realizes that his disability has vanished. And a woman’s faith is renewed by the chance discovery of a simple nativity set.
Many ordinary people experience God’s grace during those special moments when Christmas becomes more than just a holiday, but a time for miracles. Cecil Murphey and Marley Gibson bring you the real-life stories of everyday people who have experienced these life-changing moments of hope, comfort, and transformation—all during the most wonderful time of the year.
A Treasury Of Christmas Miracles ($1.99 Kindle, KoboBook Description
This collection of true stories from bestselling author Karen Kingsbury celebrates the mystery and wonder of Christmastime.
A chance encounter that changes everything . . . help that appears from nowhere . . . kindness when it's least expected . . . We've all experienced miracles in our lives. Now Karen Kingsbury has collected a series of real-life stories about people whose lives were changed by the mystery and wonder of Christmastime. In each of these stories, Karen brings undeniable proof of God's presence in our lives. And with an uplifting voice, she gives us a joyous reminder of the true meaning of Christmas: the greatest miracle of all is opening our hearts to love.
The Paper Bag Christmas ($1.99 Kindle, B&N, KoboBook Description
Dr. Christopher Ringle is the last person you'd expect to find moonlighting as Santa Claus at the mall on the day after Thanksgiving. But it is there that he meets a young man named Molar Alan, who desperately needs a new perspective on the underlying value of Christmas. Dr. Ringle recruits Mo and his older brother as volunteers at a nearby children's hospital for the holiday season. At the hospital, Mo is tasked to help bring holiday cheer to the young cancer patients on the fifth floor. His biggest challenge is befriending a decidedly angry girl who is so embarrassed by her scarred appearance that she hides her face behind the safety of a paper bag. Almost in spite of himself, Mo finds that Christmas joy emanates from a source far greater than the North Pole, while the young girl learns that she is more beautiful than she had ever imagined.
Last up, a completely free download of Miss Humbug ($8.95 Paperback), directly from the author, Marnie L Pehrson.Book Description
It's Christmastime and cold, competitive Elaina Houston would rather work than celebrate. Not only is Christmas a complete waste of time and money in her opinion, but also it brings with it haunting memories that drive Elaina further into her frigid shell. Work is the only answer, but she's surrounded by coworkers who bask in the holiday glow, constantly reminding her of painful memories from Christmases gone by. Then one night, a week before Christmas, her past comes back to haunt her, and she's given an ultimatum. Either she learns the Spirit of Christmas or she won't live to see another December 25th. Will Elaina be able to understand and act on the truth before time runs out?
To sign up for the free book (in HTML or text, both of which will display on the Kindle or can be easily converted), visit www.misshumbug.com. You'll also get a chance to pass on the offer to three friends (or three throw-away email addresses); if you do, you'll also be able to download the audiobook version for free.
